


the lining of your slowly withering lungs

by loosecloudymist_OperaEagleAce



Series: Ryohei appreciation [7]
Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Chrome is all protective easily overlooked steel, Emotional Intimacy, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I stan one (1) Extreme Sun Man, Mukuro cares and can't directly say it but implies it like boom, Panic Attacks, Post-Canon, Queerplatonic Relationships, Ryohei and Chrome are trying so hard, Ryohei is extreme sunshine boi AS ALWAYS but soft bc Tsuna needs soft rn, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Tsuna Stop, Tsuna murders some people and there's angst, Tsuna you are loveable and its frustrating when you don't see that, Wow, a little different than my usual characterization but i like it, aka Tsuna Angst, characterization: Tsuna is Soft and Emotional, just accept their love for all of you, lots. of touching. Tsuna is a touchy person, mentions of catholism, non-sexual physical intimacy, projection who?, prompt: red string, tbh if my Ryohei bias isn't shining through I'm not trying hard enough, that's it that's the fic, what icons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2021-01-20 15:37:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21284090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loosecloudymist_OperaEagleAce/pseuds/loosecloudymist_OperaEagleAce
Summary: Tsuna is too good for this world, never mind for them, for the mafia. His soft heart bleeds, until he can't handle it any longer. [Includes Angst and lots of words of Affirmation and Touch for comfort. aka Tsuna keeps his moral sensibilities from his teen years and still kills people and this is Not Good for his mental health]"He waves to the rest of them and wrenches himself away."Dang it," he hisses to Chrome, barely holding back sobs, "I hate this. I'm so weak, I'm no use at sites like this. They deserve my full attention and compassion, and I can't even spend five minutes with each of them, I'm such a wreck from having to kill their torturers who also had family of their own, and--ugh, khhh." Tsuna breaks off with a high-pitched keen.Chrome puts up a Mist barrier and an illusion of perfectly functioning Tsuna over it for good measure as Ryohei eases the shaking Tsuna into his arms."My contribution for round 1 of the remix. This thing did Not want to end. Prompt: red string. Enjoy!
Relationships: Sawada Tsunayoshi & Reborn, Sawada Tsunayoshi & Rokudou Mukuro, Sawada Tsunayoshi & Sasagawa Ryouhei & Dukuro Chrome, Sawada Tsunayoshi & Vongola Tenth Generation, Sawada Tsunayoshi/Sasagawa Ryouhei/Dokuro Chrome if you squint
Series: Ryohei appreciation [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1050386
Comments: 9
Kudos: 69
Collections: 2019 KHR Winter Remix Fest Round 1: Prompt Fic





	the lining of your slowly withering lungs

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like maybe the tags are a good enough author's note? Well, if you haven't, read those, and uh, Get Ready. 
> 
> projection? don't know her
> 
> Also, uh, Creative interpretation of the Red String prompt.
> 
> Edit 4 Nov: fixed typos, edited+revamped ending into something I like a lot better

"X-Burner!" Tsuna declares, his eyes molten gold. By now he can compete the move without contacts, the way it feels burned into muscle memory, despite how he tries to keep his usage down. Not many people deserve to be incinerated like this, but of the ones that do, a large concentration of them are in the mafia. Lucky Tsuna. 

He honestly doesn't want to kill anybody, detests the thought of playing God. (Since moving to Italy, he's become a devout Catholic, but does he really believe or does he just hope that there's some higher power up there to help him out, so that he's not really destroying souls when he makes these impossible choices?) But his Intuition is telling him that these people, if left alive, will escape to experiment on humans again. That cannot happen. Hyper Dying Will Mode Tsuna is the objective, rational one, just like he needs to be, so X-Burner it is. 

Staring at the smoking ruins of the building, HDWMTsuna cannot drop back to himself. He's exhausted, but not ready to end the dissociation. He knows he'll be useless for a while as soon as that happens. 

"They won't be screwing up any more lives," Hayato says, kicking at the ash, already intimately familiar with Tsuna's thought process. "You did what you had to do, Tsuna." Hayato clasps him on the shoulder, and this would be really grounding and helpful if Tsuna wasn't trying to stay ungrounded until he reached his office or bedroom. He has to get back quickly to write the report, so he lingers for only a moment before leaving. 

Chrome comes up beside him, and waits. They watch as the Vongola finish up in the area, as they load children and adults into vans, as some go poking into the ruins, as some pack away evidence and files, as some leave the site to follow trails of those experimenters who may have escaped. Tsuna pads over to the survivors and helps distribute the last few shock blankets. 

He tells one crying girl "It's okay now," gives her a hug. He hands a water bottle in addition to the blanket to a grown man that looks soul-weary, and murmurs "They're gone and you don't owe us anything," after a flash of insight, and pretends not to notice the widened eyes. He is surprised by a crushing hug from an emaciated woman, who doesn't say anything, but squeezes him. Nothing needs to be said. Tsuna squeezes back, feeling the fierce relief and gratitude and hope for the future crackling around her Flames. 

He barely manages to restrain himself enough to just land a kiss on the forehead of the next little boy. He waves to the rest of them and wrenches himself away. 

"Dang it," he hisses to Chrome, barely holding back sobs, "I hate this. I'm so _ weak _, I'm no use at sites like this where people just need selfless help but I can't do anything because I'm going to break down myself. They deserve my full attention and compassion, and I can't even spend five minutes with each of them, I'm such a wreck from having to kill their torturers who also had family of their own, and--ugh, khhh." Tsuna breaks off with a high-pitched keen. 

Chrome is half-supporting him as they walk, and Ryohei wraps a blanket around the last victim of the last truck and sprints over to Tsuna just in time to hear the tail end of the rant. Chrome puts up a Mist barrier and an illusion of perfectly functioning Tsuna over it for good measure as Ryohei eases the shaking Tsuna into his arms. 

"I've got you, otouto, to the extreme," Ryohei reassures Tsuna in the quiet caretaker voice that he reserves for his injured Family. "You're here with me and Chrome, and extremely soon we'll be back in the base and everyone will be so, so happy knowing you're safe." Mmm. His Family happy is good, his Flames purr at the idea. "Just hang on, you're doing so well, otouto--soon you'll have some tea that Haru probably has steeping right now, and I bet Hayato will let the extreme paperwork slide today…"

Even through his daze, Tsuna can feel warm Sun Flames healing the physical damage and almost crooning to him, trying their best to comfort him too. Ryohei's such a good Sun. Tsuna doesn't deserve the amazing man Ryohei has grown to be. And he certainly agonizes fairly often over what his Guardians could have been without his fate shackles around theirs. Even shackles that they bound to themselves. Tsuna sometimes wishes that he had died earlier so that they'd be free from all this… and, though it's selfish, from him. They deserve so much more than he can give them. Hayato, a brilliant chemist with world-shaking ideas, Takeshi, a baseball star promoting mental health awareness, Chrome, the best private investigator, Lambo, a normal child still living with Mama, Ryohei, a world-class doctor and boxer… at least Kyoya doesn't let Tsuna drag him down, and Mukuro would probably still be in Vendicare if the Vongola hadn't intervened. 

That wasn't even touching the other innocents he'd brought in, that had _ asked _ to be brought in. He's sure Haru and Hana's blood is on his hands, to just name two. 

Primo, Tsuna's pathetic. Not only has he killed so many, directly or indirectly, he won't stop. He can't stop now. In his position of power, it's his duty to do as much to help others as he could as quickly as possible. With the safety of his Family first priority, of course. 

"-na! Tsuna!" Ryohei was exclaiming loudly, Chrome poking him with her Flames. Tsuna has Chrome to thank for drawing him out of that spiral. 

He has just enough time to notice the tightness in his chest, lack of breath, burning of his heart that signal a panic attack before he blurts out, "Red String Room." 

He's propped against a wall, Ryohei crouching in front of him, Chrome standing behind the Sun tall and strong and concerned. Their eyes both soften at his words. 

"Of course, Boss," Chrome agrees quietly. "Who do you want with you?" 

"Mm, both of you," he manages to mumble. "I can walk," he insists as Ryohei reaches down for him again. 

Chrome snorts. "I'm sure you can," Ryohei says with a tinge of amusement--and worry. Oh no, Tsuna's caused Ryohei stress again-- "It's not about what you're physically capable of. Your mind is extremely damaged right now, otouto. Let us take care of you." 

Tsuna can feel the reassuring weight of both Mist and Sun Flames as he closes his eyes and resists the urge to cry. And because he's so, so selfish, instead of being strong for his Elements, he lets his consciousness slip away. 

[...]

Tsuna has a Red String Room. 

He imagines every person he's ever killed has a connection to his soul, and he visualises that as red cords. Sometimes his world is filled with red and he has to pause and collect himself. During those times, as well as after hard missions, Tsuna retreats there. He's spending a lot more time there lately, and Ryohei-nii would probably say it's not good for him. Well, everyone is worried for him, and he's sorry that he causes them stress. He knows that they want him to worry about himself, and he supposes the stress, sorrow, and consistent mental breakdowns should give him pause (sometimes Hyper Intuition is a burden), but they just… don't. Tsuna would take away all their pains regarding him in a snap, though. 

There's something comforting about the Red String Room, about the countless red chords that he’s tied and fused and hung from the low ceiling. It helps keep him humble so that he doesn't end up devaluing human life, something he constantly worries over. It validates the crushing guilt he feels for all those cut-short lives. (No matter their actions, who is Tsuna to condemn their souls? He has killed. He'd rather leave the judgement to God.) It gives him a space to calm down, and towards that end, it can only hold so many people at once. Usually, he takes one person with him--at least one, because he's selfish and enjoys the constant company and provided comfort now that people will do that for him.

Pretty much everyone close to him has been there with him by now, his Guardians most of all. Fuuta doesn't mind accompanying him, for whatever reason, but Tsuna doesn't really like taking any of his little siblings in there. Neither Hana nor Hibari do emotions very well, but they'll sit with him and keep to themselves. He doesn't take Mukuro very often, because despite all the Mist's hidden affection, he just doesn't understand since need for a shrine to human life. Honestly, it most often ends up being Ryohei-nii or Chrome-chan. 

Tsuna loves Hayato and Takashi, but he doesn't like to subject them to the Red String Room. He knows that they worry relentlessly, can see it in their eyes, feel it in their tapping feet and concerned, shifting Flames. Tsuna likes to keep their interactions as positive and non-Mafia as possible (which is pretty much impossible, but Tsuna has nothing left except empty hopes and his Family) and despite their resolutions to help more with his mental health, Hayato and Takeshi worry least when Ryohei-nii and Chrome take care of his melancholy moods and report to them. (Sometimes Hyper Intuition is super helpful.)

[...]

Tsuna gradually awakens to the smell of fresh tea, head in the lap of a very Misty person--Chrome, he ascertains after he has another couple moments to distinguish her Flames, and the hand running its fingers through his hair is very nice and should never stop. He senses energetic Sun at the doorway, enthusiastic Lightning on the other side. Ryohei-nii and Haru, conversing quietly about him, Intuition hints. 

“Alright. I’ll make sure you have some time,” Haru is saying. “Give him a hug for me, and make sure he drinks the tea.” 

“Will extremely do!” Ryohei agrees in what passes for his whisper. 

Chrome clears her throat, and her expression must betray a little bit of exasperated scolding, because Ryohei winces in guilt before quickly moving on, as he is wont to do. 

“It’s okay, I’m awake anyway,” Tsuna smiles, sighing a bit internally as he has to now sit up. He was comfortable, sue him. “So, the tea?” 

Ryohei lays tray with teapot and cups down on the table, pouring one for him. Tsuna reaches out to grab it, ignoring the niggle of his Intuition, hisses, and immediately yanks his hand back. “Ow,” he complains. Sometimes he forgets that Ryohei, like half his Guardians, can handle an inhuman amount of heat. Ryohei because his body temperature was higher than other people’s, and his Flames were so internally active that they healed damage before Ryohei could really hurt, these days. 

Ryohei winces. "Sorry, otouto!" 

Tsuna drinks the tea, sits in silence. It's not quite comfortable nor uncomfortable, but that's the mood Tsuna was aiming for when he first made the Room. Commemorative. You're not supposed to be completely at ease in the space you reserve for mourning the dead. 

Chrome and Ryohei sit with him. The Mist trades out with the Sun, Tsuna's head settling in Ryohei's lap as he finishes the tea and Chrome pouring her own cup of tea before artfully arranging the tea set on the low table. Ryohei's hands absentmindedly scritch through his Sky's hair, warm and comforting. Ryohei more than anyone else, Tsuna feels, understands the Room and the sentiment behind it. They're easily the least toughened up by this life in the whole group, both quick to forgive and have compassion. Perhaps their biggest difference is that Ryohei still loves the blood pumping through his veins during physical combat, and Tsuna can't claim to really enjoy anything of the sort. He likes relatively quiet, chaotic family afternoons. 

Chrome hums, and her Flames reach out to cover him in a thin layer of protection from his fears. Tsuna appreciates the thought, but actively prevents them from doing much. He'd rather feel this than become numb. 

Eventually, Ryohei nudges Tsuna and reaches up to grab the red string and scissors on the table. Tsuna sits up obligingly, though still leans on his Guardian, and accepts the red string. 

"What's the body count?" Tsuna asks. 

Chrome looks steadily back at him. "The estimated total of people in the direct building at the time of incineration was twenty five; the estimated number of casualties for the entire incident was thirty-two, and there are five victims of experimentation that will probably die in the next couple of months. The doctors have recommended that we let them pass on, as none of them really want to live." 

Ryohei draws in a sharp breath, and Tsuna feels his heart pound. It's both more and less than he'd expected. Tsuna nods, feeling his heart aching and Flames mourning, and starts measuring out strings by the nudge of his Intuition. One centimeter for every year of the victim's life. Then he snips it. "I'm sorry," Tsuna murmurs. "I'm sorry that you were in a place where you had to commit crimes, and that I chose to end your life prematurely. I'm sorry. Your life was precious. May your fate be better in your next life, may you make better decisions." 

Tsuna draws up his Dying Will, fusing the end of the string with regretful amber eyes. 

They sit in silence, Chrome and Ryohei keeping vigil as Tsuna completes the entire ritual for each strand (with modified prayers for each person). When Tsuna reaches the victims' strings, he subtly changes his speech to accommodate their circumstance. 

"I'm sorry," he chants. "I'm sorry I didn't know about your plight, didn't get there in time. I'll do my best to prevent this from happening in the future. One of my Mists was experimented on,you know, and… yeah. I've seen how messed up it can be, he showed me. I'm sorry you had to go through that, and that it hurt you so much. I'm so sorry." 

He burned the end of the last string together, wiped the quiet, clammy tears from his face. 

At this point, the red tributes are all done. The Guardians rise to help thread the strings through the mesh not too high above their heads, saying one last well-wish as they do so. 

Normally, this is when Tsuna would sit back down for about five minutes, exchange a couple of depressing sentences with his companions, and then pull himself together and leave to go be the boss. He feels wretched today, though, and knows he's going to be useless for a lot longer than usual. 

His Elements also know, from the way they settle down beside him once again. 

There are eleven hundred forty-three red strings in this room. That's twelve thousand five hundred seventy three pints of human blood on his hands. 

Sometimes his Intuition sucks. 

"Being a mafia boss sucks," he proclaims tiredly instead. 

"Yeah, it does," Ryohei agrees, huffs out an amused breath instead of scooping him up and bubble-wrapping him away from the world like he probably wants to do. Chrome hums and rubs his back, her Flames flickering in concern, grasping for how to address this. 

"You manage really well," Chrome says. He can feel that truth resonate in her Flames, but he can't believe it. 

"No, I'm don't." It bubbles out of him before he can stop it. "I feel like the worst person in existence. I can't spend nearly enough time with each of you--most of the time I do spend is in this room, which isn't really a positive experience--my most important people, and I'm in a position of privilege where I can do things to help others. I _ need _ to help people, and every single time I get there too late to save everyone, and no other boss truly understands. Some of them vaguely respect my actions, but a lot of them aren't shy about expressing their disapproval and trying to attack my family because compassion is perceived as weak, so people in my Family have died as a direct result of my choice to reform the mafia, and if only I had been there... I'm never enough, and I'm never going to be enough. You guys shouldn't even be here, you could have done such great things, and here I am, dragging you down into my problems and bloodstains…" 

Aw, shoot. He isn't supposed to say _ you'd be better off without me _ anymore. He winces, expecting another _ we don't want to imagine it _ lecture. 

Chrome and Ryohei have a thirty-second facial expression conversation. At another time, because of his deep connection to his Elements, he'd be able to read every glance, but now he is back in the deep hurting zone. Chrome takes Tsuna's hand in hers, arms brushing, as Ryohei shifts to directly face Tsuna and clears his throat. 

"You don't extremely understand," Ryohei says with soft, soul-deep tenderness that almost aches. 

There's something very raw and melancholy in his eyes, his taut jaw, his flickering, soothing Flames. Tsuna feels new tears spring to his eyes and almost bursts out in frustration at being so emotional. 

"You can't _ feel _ how much you are, how _ good _ you are. You _ are _ good," the Sun insists, sensing Tsuna's skepticism. "You even pointed it out--no other mafia boss is bothering to do what you do. You worry that you're making everything worse, but otouto, without you, _ none _ of the people you save would be helped. You put so much extreme pressure on yourself to be perfect, to win every match without a scratch, but that's not how it works in the ring. You have your Family at your back, so you're not alone even in the worst of fights, even emotional fights. Considering you _ extremely _don't want to be in the ring, the way you've learned to fight within the rules without losing yourself to bitterness or total lack of feeling is…" Ryohei stops, words ducking and weaving out of his grasp.

"Indescribable," Chrome whispers, brushing her lips over her Sky's hair. Ryohei just nods, grateful and still very intent on observing Tsuna. The Sky leans on his Mist's temporarily melted steel posture, presses his face into her shoulder, absorbing their sentiments, greatly aided by the overwhelming affection in their Flames. The thing with people not being helped at all if he doesn't come is true, but it really doesn't help ease the burden upon himself, doesn't gut any of the sour soreness of _not enough_. He reaches out and tugs gently on a red string, twining it through his hands. More people would be helped if he could just buck up and stop being crippled by this, this frustration, this self-hatred_._ Maybe it would improve if he had no feeling at all… how nice that would be... Without his approval, it slips from his lips. 

"Maybe if I stopped being so soft it would be better. I know everything would hurt less; everything would be easier." 

A beat as they take in that musing and read between the lines, then many more as they examine it. Without even a body-language conversation, they seem to reach a conclusion at the same time. Ryohei shifts back over to cuddle Tsuna's other side. 

"If that happened… well, I'd worry for everyone, and Ryohei's job would be infinitely harder as he tried to care for everyone noticing and adjusting to your change," Chrome begins quietly. "We would stay, but we'd be much less happy."

"It wouldn't feel like _ home _ anymore," Ryohei contributes, and Tsuna feels the truth of that statement echo through their bond. _ Oh_. 

"You're amazing the way you are," Chrome asserts, taking his face in her hands. "The only thing we'd ever change would be the weight of your burden." Her Flames envelop him. 

_ Oh_. 

"You don't love yourself enough yet," Ryohei murmurs. "So while you're figuring out how to and practicing that move, lean on our extreme conviction." 

Tsuna doesn't have a retort for that. 

[...]

Mukuro is laying over Tsuna's desk when he comes in. The paperwork is all messed up. 

"What do you want?" It's only been two days since his bad crash in the Red String Room, and he's still emotionally drained. He only got four hours of sleep last night, he had to make up so much paperwork.

"If you hadn't stopped me, I would have killed the entire mafia," Mukuro smirks, as confident as ever in his ability. Tsuna has gotten pretty good at deciphering what Mukuro is hinting at when he starts conversations in this manner, but even with Intuition he's stumped for seven seconds. 

Oh, of course. His Guardians are, like, practically married to each other; they tell each other literally everything. Tsuna sighs. 

"That doesn't make me feel better," Tsuna says, cocking an eyebrow at his Mist. "You shouldn't have been in that position in the first place, and Vongola helped put you there." 

"That's why if you stopped fighting to bring justice, I would leave," Mukuro proclaims nonchalantly, staring at a spot on the ceiling. "I would burn down the Vongola and then leave, and I'd take all the wounded people you brought with you." 

Tsuna pauses. He often has to do this with Mukuro. 

"Thank you," he breathes finally, genuine. 

The only sign of Mukuro's discomfort is the twitch of his hand. "You're welcome," he says haughtily. "And I'm positive that the Skylark would hunt you down and kill you, to stop you from doing anything you'd regret. No one else would be able to." 

_ Oh_. 

Tsuna stares blankly at Mukuro's ponytail as the man sweeps out of the room. 

"He's right," Reborn says from behind him, and Tsuna doesn't flinch. He's too comfortable with Reborn next to him. 

And then Reborn's words sink in. 

_ Oh. _

"So what are you going to do?" his most trusted advisor asks. 

"I can't just stop feeling terrible," Tsuna points out.

Reborn clicks his tongue. "Then how do you drag yourself out of that feeling?" 

Tsuna listens to his Intuition. "Um, I go to my Guardians and delegate. And spend time with them to cheer me up?"

"Don't question, state," Reborn chastises automatically. "That's right. And you should also spendless time in your mourning room. I get that you want to mourn, but keeping yourself in that negative headspace for a long time is not doing you any favors. All of your Guardians have told you that at different points. Start listening to them and to me, Tsuna." 

Tsuna nods, reluctant, but his Intuition agrees with everything Reborn expresses, and so he guesses he'll take the advice. 

"And you can't do more than you can do. You are one person, Tsunayoshi, and you have mortal limits. This is why you have so many people behind you. You are not solely responsible for all life forms in Italy or the mafia, and until you accept that and stop blaming yourself for all these deaths--it's fine to mourn, but they made the choices that forced you to do what you do, and you are not responsible for the victims' circumstances--until you get these things through your head, you're not leaving the mansion premises. This mentality keeps causing panic attacks, and we can't guarantee your safety outside of our wards. I've cleared it with Hayato, Ryohei agrees with the diagnosis, and everyone has agreed to support this idea. So. Lift this burden from your shoulders, X-Burner some of it, and hand some of it off to other people." 

Tsuna blinks. "...Okay?"

"Don't question, state. You are going to get better. Repeat that, and believe it." 

"I am..." 

"Going to get better," Reborn prompts. 

"I am going to get better," Tsuna parrots, internally rolling his eyes. Reborn knows that this is already a lost cause. Tsuna can't take care of himself for anything, and as long as everyone else in his life is alive and happy, that's all he feels comfortable asking from this cold universe. 

"I have all day," Reborn says, tapping his gun in Tsuna's desk. What a power move. Tsuna is mildly offended. That's his desk. 

"I could buy everything in this mansion, including you, and you know it. I have all day. You need to light your ring when you say those words so I know you mean them." 

Tsuna's disappointed that he won't get to use his witty, witty comeback for Reborn's flex--_yeah but I bought all of it first--_but he knows that Reborn will keep his words, and it would be a lot more touching to find out how far Reborn is willing to go to assure Tsuna's health and safety if it wasn't so irritating right now. 

He stares back at Reborn morosely, refusing to say anything. 

"Boss, please," Chrome pleads, letting her cloak of Mist fall away. Tsuna berates himself for focusing on Reborn so much that he failed to notice her. "You're so fragile as you are now." 

"The way you think is herbivorous," Kyoya deadpans from the open window. "It's turning you into one." 

He pays attention to his Intuition, and sighs. "Chrome." She sheepishly smiles and drops the illusion. The rest of his Guardians and a couple other family members, expressions like they've been caught with their weapons at the table, greet him. 

"Tsuna-nii! I need help with a school project!" 

"Tsuna-nii, sorry about this..." 

"Hey, Tsuna!"

"Jyuu--Tsuna!"

"Kufufu, did you really think I left?" 

"I'm here to the EXTREME, otouto!" 

"You monkey, you look like you haven't left a graveyard for years, and you're making everyone worry." 

"Hahi, Tsuna-kun! You have to take better care of yourself!"

"You're all here to bully me into house arrest?" 

"Haha, you're good at twisting words, Tsuna! No, we just want you to live a sustainable life."

"And not be miserable," Hayato tacks on, his eyes softening where Takeshi's harden. All the Flames in the room resonate with those statements. 

_Oh._

Tsuna leaves an hour and a half later, having agreed to: house arrest until he can last a week and a half without a panic attack, personal application to therapy and therapeutic techniques, time each day spent just with his family, use of a panic button, better delegation of paperwork and hard decisions, and his presence required less at sites like the one that caused his last huge breakdown. 

He won some, he lost the vast majority, but somehow, he still walks away feeling like the luckiest person in the whole world. 

[...]

When you've hit rock bottom, the only way to go is up. 

**Author's Note:**

> Tsuna’s Realizations:  
“Oh” #1: Tsuna is once again hit with the full impact of just how much his Family considers him a major pillar in their lives, how much they care for him (specifically Ryohei in this instance), and how much they want him to practice self-care.
> 
> “Oh” #2: Tsuna realizes that oh, his Family does the thing he does where he wants to take away their pains and sorrows, except it’s aimed at him. That has further implications for how much they love him and actually care about his mental state (specifically Chrome). Tsuna forgets that mental health is a thing in regards to himself. 
> 
> “Oh” #3: Mukuro verbally acknowledges that he knows what Hibari would do, which testifies to their bond and the bond between Tsuna and Mukuro; implies that Kyoya cares enough about Tsuna to keep the “real” Tsuna’s legacy intact, and has become inordinately and unprecedentedly fond of real Tsuna; and, finally, implies that he, Mukuro, would never be able to kill Tsuna, pretty directly admitting attachment, and, considering Mukuro’s general actions around Tsuna, affection. 
> 
> “Oh” #4: Reborn admits that he also would be unable to kill Tsuna, which… yeah. Admits attachment. Coming from the world’s greatest hitman, that’s an unprecedented announcement. 
> 
> "Oh" #5: reaffirmation of oh #1, with extra punch because everyone's there and he can feel how deeply they mean it
> 
> Yeah so this fic was me working through those moments where I hate being sensitive :/ 
> 
> Sort of an abrupt ending but it Had To End at some point, and it just wasn't ending on its own. The plan to continue was to take Tsuna down to medical where the victims are recovering, have him help out the nurses/Ryohei, and they thank him and then he's like "okay maybe living is okay and maybe I'm not the worst human being ever"
> 
> The Fic in a Nutshell:  
Tsuna: i don't like myself  
Ryohei: We love you, so Love Yourself  
Tsuna: :/  
Chrome: We love you, so Love Yourself  
Tsuna: :/  
Mukuro: We love you, so Love Yourself  
Tsuna: :/  
Reborn: We love you, so Love Yourself  
Tsuna: sounds fake but okay

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Heart in Recovery](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22004362) by Anonymous 


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